Well, I'm sitting back, drinking a cold one, listening to hard rock, and enjoying being alone. Mom is at work. I am in such a great mood!

I don't think I've talked about it but did you guys know I have a job? At a daycare. In the infant room. And I'm doing great! I've had the job for almost three months now. I can't believe Graduation was almost five months ago. But I've befriended the woman I work with; Kristy. Well, she is leaving the center now. But that's okay, we'll still be able to spend time together.

Speaking of which! We are going to try and go to a concert together next month. There is Homecoming at the Smirnoff Theatre in Dallas. From what I remember there is going to be Yellowcard, Audioslave, All American Rejects, Fall out Boy... and some others I like. oh! And Cold. There is a total of 18 bands. That starts at 11am. It is going to ROCK.

The Corpse Bride comes out friday! I'm so excited. The second Burton/Depp movie this year. I am in Heaven. I can't wait!

Also, Julie and I finally broke it off for good today. I'm so.. relieved. She had been pushing me down for weeks. Now I feel liberated. YEAH.

I'm in a very gay mood. I need a girlfriend. Not like Julie. And offline. Or a very pretty male. That would work too. I feel like dancing. I want to go dancing. And get drunk. Damn the legal age for being 18!

You know what? I turn 19 in December. That means.. I can say that next year I am turning 20. That is a scary as hell concept. o.o;

Hmm... Okay. I think I'll stop here for now. I'm hyper. And dancing around with a bottle of beer in hand. I need to caaaalm down. Pff. Yeah right. WOOO!

I feel so... alone

Alf

Yesterday we lost Alf. I am in very much pain over this. We had her for seven and a half years. What a wonderful dog she was and we are going to miss her so much. Yesterday was so very hard. She fought dying. She didn't want to go. But eventually she gave in.. and just simply.. vanished from our lives. We were not expecting this loss, but it is greatly grieved. I hope her journey over the Bridge was a joyous one for her and she was greeted by Zelda Mae, Duke, PJ, and all of her other doggy friends who have passed away in the past few years. We are going to miss her so very much.

I am not a happy person right now.

Ashley isn't going to move here anymore. It doesn't surprise me. And it really isn't the point of her not coming anymore that upsets me. I'm just so sick of being alone. I was so happy that she was coming here because I would finally have someone to hang out with. I understand why she isn't going to come here. I guess I did kind of wig out on her when I found out. But I'm calmed down now...

Another thing that has me upset is that I'm befriending Kristy up at work. As most of you know I work at a daycare in the infant room. With babies. I love it so much. And Kristy is amazing. She's 29 but she is so full of energy. But she's going to be moving away now. Her husband is cheating on her and is being this horrible person. I understand why is she moving away and I know she doesn't want to. I'm going to miss her so much. Everyone keeps getting pushed away from me.

Probably the thing that has me upset the most is I still have feelings for Amanda/Ed. I know I didn't discuss what happened while she was here but let me just say it was a big mess. But things are settling down right now and my feelings for her aren't. I just care for her so much.. and I want her so much. I wish she could come visit me again. And have things more smooth than last time.

Well... this is all I'm going to write today.. I need to go get ready for Church. Chuuurch. Damnit.

Friday night I had to go to the ER at like 11. I've had this sore right above my crack for a little over a week. Probably two weeks. Turns out it is a very common thing. It starts with a hair follicle and it just gets a lot of puss in there. It's a dark place with a lot of oxygen so bacteria loves it. Heh. They had to cut it open, and drain it. It hurt so much.. The doctor put a tube inside the cut thoguh and then packed it with something so the cut couldn't close up. And said to come back monday for a follow up. And it would be decided if I had to actually have surgery to get this thing taken care of. We went back this morning... he looked at it and liked how it was healing so I don't have to have surgery. But they took the tube out, the stuff, and put more stuff in it. It hurt so bad.. I cried and I couldn't help but shake. It was so painful. Ugh. And I can't go to work for a week! A week! I'm so mad.. But at least I don't have to have surgery. Le sigh..